Every President’s Favorite Hobby
Let’s stop pretending deportation is a partisan issue. It’s not. It’s America’s favorite bipartisan pastime—like baseball, but with more trauma. From Clinton’s quiet paperwork purge to Trump’s reality-show cruelty, every president since the ’90s has played their part in building the border-industrial complex. And spoiler alert: Biden’s not the savior either.
📦 Clinton: The Bureaucratic Bulldozer
Bill Clinton didn’t need MAGA hats or border walls. He had IIRIRA—the 1996 law that turned immigration into a deportation speedrun. It stripped due process, expanded “aggravated felonies” to include things like shoplifting, and created expedited removal—aka “you blink, you’re gone.”
• 12.3 million deportations and returns.
• Doubled Border Patrol like it was a Costco sale.
• Made it easier to deport people than to return a library book.
Clinton’s legacy? He built the machine. Quietly. Efficiently. And with zero commotion.
🛂 Bush: The Security State’s Hammer
George W. Bush took Clinton’s machine and gave it steroids. Post-9/11 paranoia turned immigrants into “potential threats,” and suddenly every undocumented person was a national security risk.
• Created ICE in 2003. You know, the agency that raids homes at dawn and asks for your papers.
• Launched Operation Streamline, criminalizing border crossings like they were bank heists.
• Workplace raids became primetime drama—families torn apart while clocking out.
Bush didn’t tweet. He didn’t cry. He just militarized immigration and called it patriotism.
🤝 Obama: The Contradiction King
Barack Obama came in with “hope and change,” but for immigrants, it felt more like “hope you don’t get deported.” He introduced DACA, sure—but also deported over 3 million people, especially in his first term.
• Secure Communities linked local cops to ICE. Because who doesn’t love surprise deportations after traffic stops?
• Most deportees had no criminal record—just bad timing.
• Activists dubbed him “Deporter-in-Chief.” Not exactly the Nobel Peace Prize vibe.
Obama tried to thread the needle: protect Dreamers, deport their parents. The result? A legacy of contradictions wrapped in a smile.
🔥 Trump: The Spectacle of Cruelty
Donald Trump didn’t deport the most—but he made sure you felt it. His immigration policies were less about numbers and more about trauma-as-theater.
• Family separations at the border. Kids in cages. Literal cages.
• “Remain in Mexico” stranded asylum seekers in cartel territory. Fun!
• Muslim ban, public raids, and zero tolerance—because cruelty is the point.
Trump’s genius wasn’t policy—it was optics. He turned deportation into a brand. Less about enforcement, more about fear.
🧊 Biden: The Quiet Force
Joe Biden promised a more humane immigration system. Translation: same deportations, less drama. He ditched Trump’s worst theatrics but kept the machinery humming.
• 1.1 million deportations since taking office.
• 271,000 in FY 2024 alone—the highest annual count since 2014.
• Relied heavily on Title 42 to expel migrants without hearings. Public health meets public indifference.
Biden’s style? Efficient, quiet, and deeply unmemorable. Like a printer that works too well.
📊 Presidential Deportation Showdown
⚖️ Ruthlessness Rating
Clinton’s approach was far less theatrical than Trump’s—but arguably more efficient. He’s deporting more people, faster, and with fewer headlines.
| President | Total Deportations | Style | Signature Move |
|---|---|---|---|
| Clinton | 12.3 million | 🧠 Bureaucratic bulldozer | IIRIRA, expedited removal |
| Bush | 10.3 million | 🛂 Security hammer | ICE, workplace raids |
| Obama | 3+ million | 🤝 Contradiction king | Secure Communities |
| Trump | ~1.5 million | 🔥 Spectacle of cruelty | Family separation, Remain in Mexico |
| Biden | 1.1+ million | 🧊 Quiet force | Title 42, record-breaking FY 2024 |
🧨 The Bipartisan Border Machine
Here’s the truth, burst: Every president weaponized deportation. Some did it with spreadsheets. Some did it with tweets. But all of them contributed to a system that treats immigrants like disposable data points.
• Clinton built it.
• Bush militarized it.
• Obama legitimized it.
• Trump glorified it.
• Biden streamlined it.
And now? The machine runs on autopilot. ICE has billions. Border Patrol is bigger than ever. And deportation is still the default response to migration.
🗣️ What We Do
This isn’t just history—it’s legacy. And we don’t like it. We roast contradictions, remix hypocrisy, and archive the absurd.